Hi,
My most sincere thanks to all of you who have replied with your opinions to
my last (huge, sorry) message "About the Net *we* want" posted to
news:misc.news.internet.discuss and the www-talk technical discussion list
<http://www.eit.com:80/goodies/lists/www.lists/www-talk.1995q4/subject.h=
tml>,
among other places. Your contributions sent to
<Salva.Bosque@stud.uni-erlangen.de>
will sure be included in the appendix of my thesis, and I will try to be so
objective as I can while transcribing them.
By the way, if any of you doesn't want that her/his Real-Name/email address
appears in the acknowledgments part of my thesis, just let me know this
fact and I will reference on my paper all this contributions as
<somebody@net.world>
Please don't send me any more replies after Dec.25th; this is my personal
deadline. I don't want to get my mailbox *too* overfilled. And ss you sure
remember, I would like to finish my Thesis before the end of this century
;-)
Anyway, now I would like to explain briefly why I'm so engaged lately with
this appendix of my thesis.
Fortunately I'm now at last a healthy and happy --and I would say, why not,
nice- guy trying to finish his Thesis here at Erlangen.
But just a month ago Salvador Bosque i Puy was immersed in the deep hole of
an Endogenous Depression that almost ends with his existence here on
Earth. Oh well, not only could've meant my _death_ by also the end for my
lovely & beloved mother, who suffered a heart infarct which almost costs
all of us her precious, invaluable life.
Of course an Endogenous Depression is a complex, painful illness with a
bunch of different origins. I must admit that Internet had sadly an
important role on the development of my Depression. Yeah, I must admit it,
I was *too* like a bunch of other NetIzens out there addicted to Internet
(and to Un*x and my XEmacs too, must I say ;-).
Somebody while in the Deep Dark Hole of the Depression suggested that I
should look for solutions on some newsgroups. Somebody proposed a
suicide-FAQ, too:
<http://www.cis.ohio-state.edu:80/text/faq/usenet/suicide/top.html>
Oh really,
CAN'T THIS GUYS REALIZE
THAT I'M TALKING ABOUT MY FEELINGS,
ABOUT MY HEALTH,
ABOUT MY REAL LIFE,
AND
*NOT*
ABOUT VIRTUAL unREALITY????
Oh sorry, I don't want to perpetrate another *huge* message that nobody can
really assimilate. Anyway, I only want to speak about Real Life on my real
life, so be warned, no bytes on my feelings please.
As I said fortunately I'm a healthy guy now, not more an Internet-junkie,
not more a depressive suicide. Finally my brain allows me to think with
clarity and now I realize that it was not really only *my* fault to be a
net-junkie. It's just the addiction danger is *too* huge.
Well, I said that I'm now a healthy guy but it isn't really true. In fact
my psychiatrist says now I'm *too* happy, the euphoria is *too* big,
actually I'm now in another phase of the depressive process call
"Psychotism". Well in fact I call in an humorous way this psychotism of me
with another word: Nirvana.
Its symptoms are:
Huge creativity and passion for life, exaggerated excitement, the capacity
to feel the beauty of life in so an intensive way that I'm not more able to
refrain to cry (happiness tears of course) when I hear now a passage of the
Matheus Passion of Bach or I happen to see a drop of fresh rain water
falling on the surface of a leaf from a winter flower.
It has *not* so positive symptoms, too: the incapacity to realize that the
other people *can't* understand a word of what you're saying or feeling,
just because you have a *too* close contact with Life. My psychiatrist
thinks that I should try to remain always as cool as I can, and usually I
manage to, but unfortunately sometimes I feel myself like an outsider, like
a crazy Messiah, like a crazy Van Gogh refused by his co-CityNetIzens.
And lately I am interested too in Zen, this philosophy included in
Buddhismus. That's why of the title for my appendix:
* Internet or the Art of Zen *
which I think summarizes quite well my painful experience with Internet and
my re-discovering of Life, of Beauty, of Truth.
Of course all the NetIzens I know in Real Life and not only they, but the
rest of my beloved friends that don't *exist* yet on Virtual unReality will
get a copy (hardcopy on recycled _paper_, of course), of at least the
appendix of my thesis (uh well, I don't want to get ruined with this
messiahnic action ;-). All other NetIzens and contributors to the paper
will be able to read a HTML online version of the whole paper when it's
done. I will include a postscript version too, and I would suggest, why
don't you print it on _paper_ and try to *read* it carefully? It's just a
hint, of course.
Thanks again to all of you, not only for your opinions but for your *love*,
you all beloved _friends_ of mine out there
--
----
--------
and a really
Happy Merry Christmas
to everybody out there on the Net^H^H^H
to all of you out there
on this *Real*, Wonderful Good Ol' World,
wishes you,
Salva
- --
Salvador Bosque i Puy <Salva.Bosque@stud.uni-erlangen.de>
URL: http://www7.informatik.uni-erlangen.de/~srbosque
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